Almost there

I can't believe it's been more than a month since we last posted. What is even more amazing than that is the fact that it's only a month until we're due! If you go by weeks, we are 36 weeks this past Monday. The due date is at 40 weeks, but a baby is considered full term anywhere from 37-40 weeks. If he decides to come on the early side of things, we could have as little as a week left!! AHH!!

I'd be kidding myself if I said that I thought we were ready, although it still seems that anyone who says that they are ready is in for a huge shock. I'm choosing not to set myself up for that disaster. I know that we aren't ready for this, so if we do ok, it will be a pleasant surprise. Mike keeps saying that he thinks I'm ready. I think I'll be ok for the first week when I know what's normal and I know what's supposed to happen, after that, I'm going to be a freaked out wreck just like every other first time parent. Then there's only 18 years to go after that!

We are getting really excited about him coming (but some of my reasons are different than Mike's). We both can't wait to see him, hold him and learn what his personality is. Though we haven't had any complications to this pregnancy, I am looking forward to the opportunity to have my body back in full working order again. The floor seems to have gotten so much further down, and I am looking forward to being able to reach it again. I will also not miss the breathlessness, heartburn, fatigue and general loss of mobility. We have the added blessing of Mike being able to take 3 weeks paid paternity leave. It will be nice to have both of us home at the beginning to adjust to all the new changes.

We have gotten most things ready. The room is set up. We have more clothes than this child will be able to wear. The car seat is in. And we finish our Lamaze classes this week. Now we're waiting.

On the daddy front... that word in and of itself is slow to sink in but is already taking on new meaning. I (Mike) am quickly getting in touch with a broad spectrum of emotions that seem to span the breadth of the human experience.

At times I'm wide-eyed with fear when it dawns on me that I'm about to be responsible for a tiny new life being introduced into this big world of ours. Fear often turns to terror upon further musings as I ponder the impossible task of helping raise our son into a conscientious man of God. And that's assuming he survives a childhood that will likely involve a wild mix of fire, trees, mud, and chaos (if he takes after his father or his uncle or any other male relative who's come before him for that matter).

At other times I feel like I'm overflowing with excitement and anticipation. I can barely contain the flood of questions that rushes through my mind. What will it be like to see him for the first time? Who will he look like - his mother or his father - or some combination of the two of us? What type of personality will he have? What will his first word be? When will he first smile at me in recognition (at least I hope it's a matter of when...)? The questions go on and the enthusiasm seems to build daily.

But at other times I choke up as I'm struck by the indescribable miracle of life that God is entrusting to Michelle and I. It's truly humbling to enter into what will likely be the greatest [joyful] challenge of my life knowing that I've likely never been as unprepared for anything else I've faced before. At the same time I'm struck with relief when I'm reminded that the same God that is forming Michael in the womb will be forming him into the man he wants him to be - because of and despite me. And I couldn't ask for a better companion and helper to enter parenthood with.

Of at least this one thing I am certain: as great an adventure as little Michael's life has been during pregnancy, the real adventure is just getting started. I anxiously and expectantly look forward to the next chapter in the life of the Chynoweths.