There arose such a splatter...

As you can tell from the title, this is a rather juicy story. For all of the Christmas poetry and punning people, Mike gets all the credit for the title of this tale. I'm still a little shaken from the event and not quite sure where to start, so I'll simply begin.

Our little man is about 2 months old now. We have a pretty good routine, so I got up last night for our usual night time feeding. It was about 4:30am. As usual, he finished on the first side and then I went to change his diaper to wake him up before we start on the second side. This time it was a little different. I got the clean diaper ready and positioned and grabbed a wipe to wipe him off. Now anybody with little boys knows that some form of peepee teepee is essential, and Mike and I have learned this the hard way. We have dealt with sprayed walls, wet table tops, even poop sprayed onto the diaper caddy, but what was about to happen caused all of those to pale in comparison. Holding his legs out of the way, I wiped him off and he let out a little gas... not too uncommon. What I didn't realize was that I had just triggered the flood gates to let forth and I had strategically positioned the cannon for a perfect launch. Out of nowhere, he let loose this foul stream of poo that launched, hitting the diaper caddy, the counter (spilling down the side), projecting over the diaper genie and trash can finally coming to a violent and explosive end on the back of the door and the floor below. Had the door been open, I have no doubt that the spew would have made it to the wall on the opposite side of the hallway. As it is, some of the splatter did make it under the door and halfway across the hall floor. The phrase sh*$ hitting the fan suddenly had a whole new meaning.



I stood there for a moment in complete shock and amazement of the sheer volume of material that had just exploded from such a small person. In a brilliant show of self preservation, he looked up at me and gave me an adorable ear to ear smile. I'm sure he felt great now! Knowing I wouldn't be able to handle this alone, I called Mike for help and we spent the next half an hour cleaning the changing table, diaper caddy, floor, door and child. Oddly enough, the child had the least poo on him.

All in all, from rump to dump it was about 4 feet. For a 2 foot long person that is impressive! That is like an average size man projecting poo 12 feet! Now that I think of it, I'm not sure if I should be impressed or frightened. To check out the poo pictures, take a look at our web album.